Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Conservative letter

Had a letter from David Cameron MP signed and everything in real (laser) ink so I know he loves me ;-)

It looks darn professional and everything with my address and a whole string of digits and a bar code. There's a photo of "call me Dave" looking like he's sitting an exam with his name and "Leader of the Conservative Party" underneath in case I didn't know who he was. Then after "Dear [Forename] [Surname]" (feel that personal touch) a bold blue all capped "It's time to bring trust back to politics". Gee right now, I mean is now really a good time what with an approaching general election and all?

"2010 is going to be a year for change in Britain." also you will find love in an unexpected place and should avoid loaning money to family, predicted the sage. But why is this a year for change? Well because it's "a chance to vote for change and a new government for our country" or a chance to vote for the old government or even a chance to vote for a new government that's unlikely to change anything. Of course this is the year we get to do that, for the other 5 years they can pretty much ignore us like they normally do and concentrate on placating the tabloids.

Anyway Dave knows "that many people, rather than looking forward to using their vote, are pretty fed up with politicians and politics altogether" say what? Other than during a period when the disenfranchised have received the vote when has anyone in this country looked forward to voting? When was the last time you heard someone say "I wish they'd hold a general election soon I can't wait to use my vote"?

"To be honest" gosh aren't you normally? "I'm not surprised. A lot of politicians have let you down - and that includes some in my party" and moreover they've let you down, they've let Dave down, they've let the party down and more importantly they've let themselves down... onto a nice goosedown quilt in a four-poster bed situated in one of the four bedrooms of the nice house that we've paid for. But that's okay as "I want to apologise for their actions" so what's stopping you? No seriously look at the phrasing here I want to apologise, I want to win the lottery, I want my own Holodeck. See I don't have a Holodeck and in this case nor do I have an apology (but if you can provide a Holodeck I'll let you off).

But that's why as soon as he heard about the expenses scandal "I set up a panel" excellent and after waving at the fleeing horse he bolted the door shut too. Any other cleaning up to do Dave? Well you could stop MPs from being "allowed to vote on their own pay, pensions and expenses" as well as cutting the pay "Ministers by 5 per cent" oh and even reduce "the number of MPs by 10 per cent". Yes that's really going to cut into the budgets of those wealthy members of your own party isn't? How exactly are you going to cut down the number of MPs? The only way to do that would be to merge constituencies together, does one feel the presence of a gerrymander crawling around?

Oo something sensible here "One of the reasons people have lost faith in the system is that politicians so often refuse to give straight answers to straight questions"

Cough - from a discussion on the Shuttle

Tav - @John Campion: Please correct me if I am wrong, but Mark Garnier has never brought a Government Minister to Wyre Forest.

John Campion  - Tav, Mark has brought a string of Shadow Minsters to the District over the last few years including The Leader of the Opposition, David Cameron.
That straight answer to a straight question brought to you  by Conservative Leader of the Council Councillor John Campion a round of applause please.

Anyway Dave's talking straight "Britain faces a crisis - a debt crisis" rather than any of the other crises you may have heard about; and we all know who's to blame for that don't we? Oh yes we all know who encouraged deregulation of financial institutes and elevated the status of bankers to that of gods? Damn quick change the subject "brought about because the government did not fix the roof when the sun was shining" so quite unlike every other government so far? Is it me or is their some faint pencil marks next to this saying ' is this man-of-the people homespun enough?'

"If we fail to take action, we will face higher interest rates and higher unemployment" just like when we were in charge, wait sorry he didn't say that last bit. It's good to know they won't be balancing "the budget on the backs of the poorest" and that's got nothing to do with the fact that the poor don't have any money.

Oh and now it's have a laugh time "Britain needs change - and we have a plan for change" and in the next paragraph "I also want to hear what you think the priorities for the next government should be" so they have a plan for change, but depending on what you think it can be changed. Also worth pointing out that unless someone is going to reading out your comments as returned in the Freepost envelope Dave won't be able to "hear" your thought because you'll be writing them down.

I hope to receive a missive from Gordon soon.


Don B said...

Interesting. I suspect that this letter is being sent to all the residents in the Wyre Forest. Unfortunately they are using a very old mailing list as I too received the some letter to me at my old address in Stourport and I haven't lived there since November 2008 and am not on the current electoral role for Stourport and have voted from my new address at the last County Council election.

Dan H said...

'When was the last time you heard someone say "I wish they'd hold a general election soon I can't wait to use my vote"?'

The end of last week. Not those exact words, admittedly, but that sentiment. Before that I think it was just before Christmas.

I can't say I'm holding my breath. We'll almost certainly re-elect our current LibDem MP, who has done good work for us this term, and who came out of the expenses scandal with an almost palpable halo, having only one home and not even claiming back his train fares to London. Nationally, I'm not seriously expecting a LibDem government, and I can't say I'm thrilled by the prospect of another Labour government, nor a return to the Conservative days of yore. But I have lots of friends who are looking forward to evicting the current lot from their seats.

Tav said...

I have had a similar letter, and I was going to scan it and blog about it, but my wife has thrown it in the bin!

John Campion makes me laugh sometimes. He says he 'engages in public debate' yet won't answer questions and denies everything when you reveal the logic of his arguments.

FlipC said...

Don - Seeing as I've opted out of the public list since that was brought in I'm guessing they are indeed using an old list.

Dan - I did wonder if there might well be those who were looking forward to castigating those in power, but I took Dave's words in the meaning that there were those looking forward to upholding Democracy, waving the flag, and eating fish and chips for Britain! ;-)

Tav - You can have mine if you want :-P Yes John's always a good source of entertainment, if I ever need to find an example of a politician contradicting themselves, talking about something they don't quite grasp, or avoiding straight answers he's my top choice.

Orphi said...

Yes, I loves you.

Physically. :-)

But hey, he might not be the only one… I gotta admit, I found this whole thing pretty amusing.

Oh, wait. These are the morons who are supposed to be in charge?

Suddenly it doesn't seem quite so amusing.

FlipC said...

Ah shucks I'm blushing.

To be precise these are the tabloid-pandering soundbiters who want to be in charge replacing the tabloid-pandering soundbiters currently in place. As opposed to the other group who wish they were considered tabloid-pandering soundbiters rather than 'Oh yeah them too'.

Democracy - do you want your devil to stab with you pitchforks or roast you slowly over a fire?

Orphi said...

The trouble is, politicians will say or do absolutely anything to get their hands on more power.

…which doesn't really help us very much.

But what can you actually do about all this? The type of people who want to become politicians are inherantly the kind of people who have total disregard for the well-being of the people they're supposed to lead.

To quote Douglas Adams' thoughts on the matter: People are a problem.

FlipC said...

And therein lies the joys regarding the rise of the professional politician.

There are ways to combat the effects. I'll skip cutting the pay that would mean Parliament being dominated by only those who can afford not to work or those who can't get work anywhere else.

So first off the higher the position the blunter the saw. Abuse of the power invested in you means a much tougher sentence than for a non-politician. You were representing the people of this country and betrayed them you is going down mf.

Next allow recall votes. You can't just strive to get elected then rest on your morals before suddenly perking back up come the general election. You start slacking and the people can get rid of you. Can this be abused - yep; but as it stands we only get to vote every 4 or 5 years for those in charge.

To change the entire system we could switch to demarchy politicians are selected by a lottery and assisted (as now) by a civil servant structure. Yep we'll get duds, but add in the two prior orders and you can recall those who are seriously bad and imprison those who abuse it.

Of course demarchy is likely to explode the Party system which might also be a good think for the system. We have a Prime Minster elected from the MPs who picks those to act as a cabinet. Again if he abuses his power the House can cast him down and elect another, or his own electorate can ditch him.

Basically it's about returning power to where it has been sneakily removed and holding those to whom it has been empowered to account.

Steph B said...

Jon Campion used to live near my parents when he was a child. I think he's done really well for himself as he went to some really crap tin pot private school for the uneducated nouveau riche like Heathfield or Hawford Lodge or somewhere. I've always found people from such 4th rate schools are crammed through a few exams, unable to succeed in the real world and then end up working for rich mummy and daddy. So well done Campo!

FlipC said...

He's a politician, how does that equate to the "real world" :-P