Monday, October 08, 2007

Snapping into focus

So the lights went down on Friday evening, both sets all ready for the bridge closure over the weekend, and the signs went up for the Shelsley Hill Climb (also over the weekend) directing people over the closed bridge - applause, applause.

Sadly I needed to get into Kidderminster and so unwisely took the switchback to Bewdley. Fortunately it was early, but even so a queue had formed down High Street; of course it's the Bewdley October Festival. Now the stupid thing is I didn't want to go into Bewdley, but of course in the infinite wisdom of the terminally not-caring the by-pass doesn't connect to the switchback (you can get onto the by-pass, but if you go that route you almost might as well go through Shrawley distance and road-wise). Gee I wonder why traffic heads through Stourport over our bridge?

There were some parking attendants about, well one on my way in and another on my way back patrolling Bewdley centre itself; no I tell a lie both times they'd stationed themselves outside the supermarket. No, no ignore the big traffic queue; don't go down High Street, don't look at the car parked sideways in a drive slightly out from the kerb at the point it switches back from one lane to two. Don't bother heading further out and checking the parked cars on those double-yellows that the incoming queue is playing duck-and-dive with.

I only recognised them as parking attendants as I'd seen one in Stourport Friday afternoon, looked like a bus-conductor with a day-glo jacket; "distinctive"?

After that fun I walked into Stourport and had a laugh at all the road closed signs. Road Closed follow diversion - what diversion, two of these signs going in and neither actually with a diversion sign telling people which way to go, plenty outgoing though. I watched as people pulled up to them and then started looking around waiting to be told which way to go.

They were laying down the hot sticky stuff on the roads, happily hitting the pavements with 'spray'. I'm not sure how I managed to walk through without ending up sticking to the pavement further up, natural grace I expect ;-). Quiet, very quiet; did my stuff headed back. Spotted someone pointing out the bridge closure notice sign to one of the workmen and, me being me, joined in.

07:00 Sat until 20:00 Sun
on 6th - 7th Oct & 13th-15th Oct
"You can't have that" I said, "Look the 15th is a Monday"
"Yeah, but it'll probably be finished by three o'clock" [am or pm?]
"But the sign is confusing"
"Nah the seven until eight is for the 6th and 7th only"
"No it isn't look" I tapped on each word "seven Saturday until eight Sunday on 6th -7th Oct and 13th - 15th. You can't have eight 'o'clock on Sunday the 15th, because it's a Monday. You're going to get people heading through the switchback or Shrawley because they think the bridge is closed when it's not, or a long queue because they think it's open when it's not. They've buggered up the Hill climb signs too"
"Yeah I saw those, but I don't have anything to do with the signs" he said laughing and walked off

Just follow that for a second. A workman sees the signs directing traffic over a closed road, is told that the notice signs are confusing and does... nothing. Not their business, nothing to do with them.

Suddenly so much makes more sense now.

The lights are still non-existent this morning, not to worry though that big lorry parked outside of Salford House and blocking the Bridge Street exit will help, oh and that one parked at the end of Parkes Passage, and the beer delivery to the Black Star around that blind corner, oh and the bus-shelter repair van parked in lane one of Vale Road; all those will help slow the traffic down no worries.

[addition - phut, forgot to mention that the road isn't actually finished on Bridge Street. Off a 'ramp' at the end of the bridge and onto one at the top; all the signs warning you about it and the raised ironworks cleverly positioned in the right-hand lane - thud is the word I'd use as I came off the bridge. So I'm guessing we've got a whole week of that, plus traffic lights maybe yippee]