Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Millionaires support the Party that makes them money

In a shock twist for the forthcoming general election it turns out that those with large sums of money are supporting the political party that is most likely to let them continue to make large sums of money and keep as much of it as possible.

"Look it's not selfish" said one, "If I make lots of money then by extension so is everyone else. If I put into the banks they have more money to lend out in loans which helps small businesses. If I don't then I'm spending it, on a new Italian sports car or another home in LA and that helps the British economy."

"These pool-boys and dog-walkers need to be paid, I'm creating good poverty-wage level jobs for those willing to obey my every command and stand there soaking up my tantrums when they serve me a drink with ice cubes and not shaved ice like I bloody told you, yes I did, I don't make mistakes you're fired"

"I mean I'm a benefactor to society keeping the money in circulation; it's not as if that huge fortress-like building over there with the gold pound sign on it is filled with money into which I dive and wallow around in on a daily basis"

"The simple fact that I have money means that I'm a contributor I wouldn't have it otherwise would I? You have to have earned it.., or inherited it, or have your parents earn it and send you to a private school where you can rub shoulders with people who'd give you a cushy job later. But anyway it's mine and I deserve to keep as much of it as possible and that's why I want you - the people without lots of money - to vote for this Party. Don't be selfish just think of me and my chums. I promise we'll raise a glass of Cristal to you once we er they are in power"