British Troops are Dirty and Lazy, says US Chief

In a shocking outburst a US Marine commander denigrated our fine upstanding men and women for their lack of hygiene and the fact they're so lazy they're allowed to go home to visit their families after a six month tour. In a non-existent statement the commander stated "That's why we keep shooting them, we can't tell them apart from them dirty A-rabs" before playful making finger guns and shooting the aghast press corps with little Pow Pow noises.

In a rebuttal the head of the British Armed Forces didn't say "There is obviously some routine rivalry here that has made it into the public sector, but I assure you that... pooh can you smell that [holds nose and makes fanning motion] has someone let an US soldier in here? Careful now everyone if they don't like us then with their gazillion dollar millimetre accurate targeted missile system they might very well take out the building next door"

At which point an aide interjected with "Oo Burn!"