Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Why you should read the Daily Mail

I'm not a fan of the Daily Mail, but I'm re-evaluating my position on this. Why? Because the reporters and editors are obviously attuned to a parallel universe. How do we know this? Well they released an article on Amanda Knox being found guilty including quotations from the prosecutors about how pleased they were with the verdict; they reported how Know reacted when the verdict was announced; how the victim's family reacted; how Knox and her accomplice were led out of jail and would be put on suicide watch.

So what? Well they managed to release it minutes before an "Innocent" verdict was returned.

Now some cynics may claim this simply proves that the reporters at the Daily Mail just make things up and write stories as they expect (or want) them to appear rather than as what actually happened, but I say open your mind.

If somehow they are linked to a parallel universe this would explain so much. Perhaps in this universe droves of immigrants really are flooding the country, perhaps all councils are celebrating Winterval; perhaps Health and Safety officers are patrolling around and snatching conkers from children; and perhaps House Prices really are the main economic factor of the entire country.

Scientists should examine this and document every article the newspaper produces detailing exactly where it differs from our own reality. Perhaps by examining their archives we could even discover the initial point of divergence and postulate exactly what it is about the newspaper that allows this link to be maintained over the course of years and changing staff.

Do it for Science!

[Oh and yes the Guardian and Sun also jumped the gun however they did so in minimalist style. Before anyone complains the first verdict was guilty... to slander so it would be possible to report on reactions to this. Quotations could be from the first time she was found guilty; but this would be rather misleading at the minimum. It would be impossible to to describe her being escorted back to prison though.]

[Update - Oh FFS! I swear I wrote this before I read this]


Orphi said...


And here I keep thinking it's illegal to print stuff that's completely untrue…

FlipC said...

What do you think fictional novels are? :-)

One could state they are creating a falsehood in order to extract money which would be Fraud. However one would have to demonstrate that it was the untrue story that resulted in the sale of the publication.