Floody bits and bobs

Getting the local stuff out of the way first signs have gone up telling us that Stourport Bridge will be closed from 00:01 Saturday until 06:00 Monday. The one sign is positioned facing York Street, so no-one who uses New Street will see it, and on the other side of the bridge it's bisected by a lamp-post so only fully legible from one angle. While on the bridge I note they've almost finished putting up the metal kerbing along the non-pavement side. Hmm the pavement seems wider plus its metal kerbing, and now more on the other side has this narrowed the lanes?


Right first a plea to the media if I hear one more allusion to "Water, water everywhere" I'll scream. Every single bloody reporter on every single bloody channel has done it so far; all spouted as if it's the wittiest thing ever.


So onto Bewdley and the news that somebody have tried to steal the flood defences causing guards to be placed along it. So important was this news that a camera crew was dispatched to ask questions.

"So how much are they worth as scrap?"
"Not as much as they're worth as flood barriers [well what's the market for flood barriers? You know I don't think that's what the thieves were interested in] and certainly not as much as they're worth to the people of the town [because we all know thieves have a social conscience]"

"How long are they going to be up for?"
"Until we take them down"

It was at this point I was praying for a lightning strike. Well they were close to a big patch of water and metal barriers so we can but hope.

Back to Upton-upon-Severn (or as the BBC local news captioned it Upton-in-Severn) and the news that the unplaced barriers didn't get there due to being stuck in traffic. Who'd have thought they'd be so much traffic on the roads at this time?

They were being transported as there wasn't a site large enough at the town to store them; they weren't placed earlier due to a) disruption caused by closing the main street to fix them and b) they need to be assembled by specialists. What the hell are they - origami puzzles? These are angled barriers so in theory a deckchair like support base with slots to fit in the sheets. And while I'm at it why are these sheets made out of aluminium (with it's high scrap value); could they be made from something else? Hmm let's see we're on the river, we make boats... would fibre-glass be a good substitute?

Disruption? Yeah much better to get flooded then have the street shut for an hour.

[Additional - I was reminded of the answer given by Baroness Young on the reason for the stopping of dredging the rivers "It'd just mean the water was moved along faster to other areas" um yeah kind of the point]

Some of the smaller villages around Tewkesbury and Gloucester feel like they've been forgotten, while the cities get supplies of water they've had nothing; tcch it's your own fault for not laying on transport for the media. Get some camera crews in and you'll have bottled water before you can say public relations.

Oh but Severn Trent have laid on water bowsers (or blue-things as one guy called them) with "Drinking Water only" written on the side "You can use it as is for flushing toilets etc." said a spokesman. Sorry what does it say on the side again? "But it'll need boiling before you can drink it" yeah I'll dig out a camping stove or just hold a candle under a saucepan, some of these areas have no power you know.

On brighter news Oxford is getting worse with the flood waters arriving a day late; not brighter news you say. Well for some it may be as a reporter stood in front of a deserted street and told the country that most of the houses were now empty - I'm off to get my looting bag.


Finally to harp on adverts we now have Michael Winner conversing with 'real e-sure customers' as opposed to all those fake ones in the previous adverts. It's good to see advertisers stamping out this problem with some pro-active messages.