Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Question time!

"I need your brain" said my mother
"But it keeps my head nicely balanced" I replied
"Ha ha, I've a couple of puzzle questions I need help with"
"Okay"
"The answers are all numbers"
"Uh-huh"
"So one of the questions was 'blind mice' so the answer was three"
"Yes" I said slowly
"Three being a number"
"Uh-huh"
"So all the answers are numbers" she repeated

[For those thinking I'm being extraordinarily patient this is 'Symptom of speaking to my Nan who has mild dementia - repeat everything in many different ways until you're sure it's sunk in. As such I let it roll]

"Uh-huh and these other questions"
"Well we've got 'Guys named Moe?'"
"Um Five?"
"Five?" she queried "Are you sure?"
"Pretty sure"
"Okay and 'Acre wood?'"
"Hundred" I replied instantly then sang "Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh"
"Huh?"
"Winnie the Pooh, Hundred Acre wood. It's out of Winnie the Pooh"
"Oh... that seems big for a wood"
"Err"
"So that's five and one hundred, yep they're on the list"
"List?" I ask
"Yeah you get the questions and match them to the answers"
"And the numbers you had left?"
"Five, fourteen, fifteen and a hundred"

It's the thought of my mother going 'Fourteen guys named Moe, fifteen-acre wood' that makes me smile. Anyway that's not the point try this instead -

"I need your brain for a sec'"
"Well I charge by the minute"
"Ha ha, I can't get the answer to this question"
"Okay and the question is?"
"[question]"
"Um [suggestion]"
"... no that won't fit"
I sigh "... how many letters?"
"[number]"
"[suggestion]"
"... No it's got to start with [letter]"
At this point I close my eyes take a deep breath and count to ten.

How difficult is it to start with [question] it's [number] long and has [letters] in it?


Next up my father.

"Seeing as the bridge is closed on Saturday I could do with a hand moving the shed"
"Okay"
"But we need to extend the base first"
"The base?"
"Yeah up the top of the garden next to the two bird-baths"
"Oh yeah okay"
"We'll need to take it out a bit from the middle one"
"The middle one?"
"Yeah the middle bird-bath"
"The middle one of the two?"
"Yeah the one in the middle"
At this point a voice in the background calls out "The one on the right"
Thank you mom.

Just to clarify the garden is a long strip with a path splitting it about a third of the way from the left. The base extends across the top of the right strip with two bird-baths placed equidistantly on it. If you judge it by the middle of the garden as a whole then the left one is in the middle, judged by the strip neither are.

"You need to take the next turning on the right"
"The right?"
"Yeah this one" says my father pointing to the left-hand turn.

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