Clowns to the left of me

At times you can kind of understand those people who just snap and climb tall towers with sniper rifles, it's the steady dripfeed of problems followed by one incident that just cracks everything. On occasion it's not a dripfeed just one day of hassle.

So I went shopping Saturday, got onto a nice 60mph stretch of road stuck in a queue with the head being someone doing 40mph. A pain when there are a couple of inclines which my ickle car has problems with unless I can get a run up to them, fortunately the cars between slow-coach and myself disappeared and I got a nice run until I got to the top and had to slow down when I reached him.

Through a town and behind a bus who's turning left at the junction ahead, oops no silly me they're pulling in to that stop that's just in front of the junction. Seriously what is it with putting bus stops next to indicator required junctions? Anyway next the exit I want is closed, the fore-warning being the big Road Closed and Diversion sign across it, thanks to that complete lack of heads-up I have to cut into the other lane for the other exit (thanks to the guy behind me for seeing my predicament and letting me in).

It's a damn good job I know my way around, up this exit and turn left rather then go straight, which the lack of a diversion sign would have suggested. For those not knowing they'd have no clue where they were going what with the top half of the signboard being missing. Onward I go into another section and hit roadworks. They've not actually dug anything up, they've not got any equipment on site, but they have coned one side of the entire street off. Onward until I hit my destination.

I'm early so it's not to busy, that's pleasant. I do some general shopping pick up a free birthday gift from Sainsbury's (which Kidderminster didn't have) dump everything back in the car and hen start comparing various prices. "Sin City"'s out in the Director's Cut version at HMV for a tenner, "Die Hard 4" sorry "Die Hard 4.0" is out in two varieties single disc for £17 double for £20 and Blu-Ray for £25. Hmm Virgin are doing the double disc for £17 congratulations Virgin you get my business no Sin City DC though so back to HMV.

Waterstones have a 3 for 2 on some books and as always I can find 2 easily, but never a third. I find one in the end and add another two unstickered. Mention this to the girls at the counter one of whom tells me that all these books are in the 3 for 2 stickered or not. I go back for a sixth. Yay, but annoying that I spent all this time browsing. No "QED: The Strange Theory of Light and Matter" or "The Character of Physical Law", but I was kind of expecting that.

Next up was "Ratchet and Clank: Tools of Destruction" for the PS3 ranging from £40-£50. Gamestation had it at £40 so I picked one up and joined the queue that stretched across the front of the counter. Four tills (that I could see) one stuck with someone buying an Xbox360, which seemed to involve some complex actions involving a tower of discs; one with a customer in front, but no clerk, one with both clerk and customer actually making a transaction; and one blank till.

The third till clears its customer and we all shuffle up, clears again - shuffle. The queue is now heading down one of the aisles, the store is hot and there's a bunch of people standing close to each other. The third clerk has vanished into the back room; Mr Xbox has finished so that till's clear. Up steps a young women who reaches into her back pack and takes out an unboxed PS2 which she's clearly looking to trade-in. during all this four members of staff are wandering back and forth from counter to store in the oh so important task of moving game boxes. So quite literally (or verbally) I said "Sod it" put the game down on one of the queue posts and walked out.

WH Smiths at the same price and kept behind the counter, no queue.

And I'm out of there. Remembering the roadworks and closed road I go back a slightly different route and get back onto the 60mph and someone doing 50mph no 60mph no 50mph; I spot the pattern - oncoming cars 50mph, otherwise 60mph, junctions 40mph. Into Kiddy and rather then run through the string of lights I head islandward. I can't get into the right-hand turn as someone has realised they're in the wrong lane and is trying to get back into the other one. Their lights go green and he gets let in and I get into place. Turn the corner and join the queue - bloody roadworks. Worse yet bloody roadworks in the process of being removed, which means trucks and workmen walking without attention back and forth across the road.

I let someone out from a side-road on my right when we start moving. One of the damn trucks is reversing into a road and slowing us down, then he starts driving illegally half-on half-off the pavement in the direction of traffic. i overtake him only to reach the lights at red, doesn't stop the car I let out, nor the car from another side turning who admittedly can't quite see the lights Wait....wait...wait... ah cars and the head of the queue wants to turn into that lane the last car came out of, but can't quite due to the two workmen standing there having a chat. They eventually move and she finds she's now at the wrong angle to turn, I start to scoot to my left to let the traffic behind her get through only to find that bloody truck has pulled up on my left and I've a workman standing in front of me staring at a cone.

The traffic clears, the lights go green and I head finally to the island. Screech to a halt as the car indicating to turn left into my exit is really indicating to turn left into the next one. Swear at the car behind who's lack of indication tells me he's taking the next exit takes mine. Through the islands, cursing each time the designer who thought that big lumps of stuff preventing you from using any foresight into what's coming, and onto the main drag. 40mph,fine it's the speed limit. Up to the first set of lights and we're slowing down in case they change (which they don't) oh and now we're in a 60mph.

Up to the next set of lights which are also on green and yep we slow down again (these lights do change when they detect no traffic so when they're on green you don't stop) can't overtake yet due to oncoming traffic and we haven't reached the second lane... and yes into the second lane and past this slowcoach and the lights have stayed green (as mentioned in these instances they have a nasty habit of switching just as I pull out to overtake). Down the drag at 70mph, kill my speed as I hit town and get stuck behind someone doing 20mph.

Next set of lights on green while the right turn is still red, which for this set means the lights will stay green. Nope got to slow down, then again as we hit Gilgal. Followed him into Mitton Road and blew past him at 30mph (yeah blew) ducked back into lane being some sporty number driven by some young chap...doing 25mph - Gah.

Ah well I got what I wanted just so damn frazzled.