Advert time
Yet more adverts annoying me. I'll try not to give them more advertising here.
In a minor position the pro-biotic crowd whose scientists have proved that it aids the friendly bacteria in your gut; fine except for the Horizon programme where some volunteers showed an increase in decidedly unfriendly bacteria.
Purple grape juice that the nice Mr. Oddie tells us contains twice as many antioxidants as orange juice, demonstrating this nicely with some acrobatic contortions. Hmm so what is an antioxidant and why should I care? This advert doesn't tell me so presumably I'm already supposed to know.
In the same vein we get eggs laid by hens fed an Omega-3 rich diet, again no mention of what Omega-3 is or why I should want to eat it and in this case no mention of what an Omega-3 rich diet does to the hens.
Next up a badly dubbed advert from a certain large amusement attraction close to Mr Eiffel's creation. A choice of two here, but the one I'm picking on features the 'standard' family; two parents, two kids in a lift. Read the small print and we note height restrictions are in place (40" from other sources) so the two kids featured may only just meet those requirements.
Talking about small print we get the excellent new family vehicle advertised by a kids cartoon character. I'm assuming the idea is that the kids who are the only ones who pay attention to the adverts will scream "Look [parent] it's [cartoon character]" thus drawing the adult's attention to the screen and subtlety engaging nag power. Anyway the cartoon characters happily head towards the vehicle [small print] 'American model shown' and show off and enthuse about the car's many wonderful features [small print] 'All features shown are optional extras'. Wonderful I'll get two.
Breaking my stance I'll name Coke Zero next. Okay apparently there is some small difference between it and Diet Coke in that it has the added goodness of acesulfame potassium as well as phenylalanine which is derived from aspartame. So finally realising that men too might want a drink that has less calories etc. and who have been brainwashed by the many, many adverts that anything with the word "diet" in it is for girly girls, we get Coke Zero and an advert to match. Next time guys try something subtle like having a bikini clad supermodel draped over a Ferrari poring a bottle of your product over her near naked body while breathlessly telling the camera how good that feels.
Listen up it's the flight of the Valkyries, look at the people wearing hats with feathers in, drinking beer in steins and driving past fabulous grand architecture; oh yes this car is unmistakably German, ping made in France. Wow that came as a surprise what with the manufacturer originally being French before being being taken over by another French company. You build up these brands and then expect us to conveniently forget everything so you can make a stereotype joke. Nope, no can do.
And finally we get a brand of fromage frais, not the one mangling the word stronger instead one where women oops sorry, mums communicate over strung out knitting wool about this wonderful new range of fromage frais for kids and which contains 100% natural ingredients. I'll gloss over the knitting and mums and point at that 100% claim. Sure it's great that the kids' pots are all natural, but the emphasis this advert makes causes me to ask "Does this mean the adults' versions aren't 100% natural?"
4 comments:
“Next time guys try something subtle like having a bikini clad supermodel draped over a Ferrari poring a bottle of your product over her near naked body while breathlessly telling the camera how good that feels.”
This is… pure genius in a bottle! Damn I wish I could write like this…
Thank you. "This is… pure genius in a bottle!" See that's the tag-line they could use on the bottle, just substitute the word sex for genius... oh wait then it'd be a Lynx advert.
Oh gods Lynx 'Hey instead of just buying one of our products now you can buy two and combine them into something that smells just as bad as each on their own' Worrying that they make Coke Zero look subtle.
There's a couple more adverts that caught my attention -
"Every day more women are using [this diet supplement]" yes because as we all know men don't worry about their weight, personal appearance, or hygiene.
Oh yeah cos if it wasn't for women showing us up we men would be wandering around as half-naked yetis; scratching ourselves in public; and living in homes with kitchens comprising of a fridge-freezer and a microwave, while the living room will be a paean to high-technological audio and visual systems... actually you know that doesn't sound half-bad.
Then there's the pizza advert which is less an advert for pizza and more a job recruitment poster. 'Work for us' it suggests, 'and you can be driving around Italy in a convertible, sampling food, and dancing with young Italian women' or possible sitting in a factory in Grimsby watching the pizzas getting stuffed into cardboard boxes; same difference really.
flipc wrote:
> because as we all know men don't worry about their weight, personal appearance, or hygiene.
Indeed. When I was visiting my family, this issue came up, and Mum claimed that men in fact pay more attention to such things than women do. She had accused me of being thin and peaky (her exact words), so I mentioned that she was only saying that because she doesn't know my friends. They, being mathmos and compscis, are all really thin. I backed this assertion by mentioning their waist sizes (two of my best friends are 28's, as compared with my elephantine 32in bulk), whereupon she said that women never know each other's (often, not even their own) sizes.
Anyway, I like the sound of your woman-free world, except for the kitchens. I remember from being a student that you can't do anything useful with less than two hobs and an oven. Besides, where else would we put the women?
invisible wrote:
> Damn I wish I could write like this…
How come you never make that comment on my blog?
Your mum could be right; you never see one women greet another with "Is that a spare tyre you're wearing round your waist?"
Kitchen-wise 'everyone' knows that only women cook and men just bung things in the microwave and stab at the buttons; and as for the women they can stay in the bedroom ;-)
Oh and I get the nice comments because Invisible doesn't lurve you as much :-P
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