Police, road rage, more stupid ads, and we're being invaded
Spotted a few PCSOs around Stourport yesterday carrying clipboards, no idea what they're doing; definitely nothing to do with illegally parked vehicles. Talking about the police (sort-of) the CPS are once again proving their worth after giving the go-ahead to prosecute two men for kidnapping a young boy. Sounds fine until you realise that they had good cause to believe the boy had smashed the window of their shop, they'd made a citizen's arrest before putting him in their vehicle, driving back to their store, and calling the police.
Fortunately the judge applied some common sense and the result was Chip shop owner cleared of kidnapping vandal. Six days at an estimated cost of £60,000, nice to know where our money is going to.
As obesity is no longer flavour of the month, um week, er day, let's move on to road rage. Right let's start at the beginning we've got some of the best behaved drivers in the world, think about the last time someone let you out of a junction, think about traffic islands, think about the entire "Give Way" system. Imagine this type of driving in England. Yet again the very fact that stories of road rage incidents that got out of control still make the headlines, is indicative that they're not common. So why do we get road rage at all?
We treat the car like little mobile fortresses, you only have to watch someone picking their nose, having a row, bopping along to some music, or filling the car with soft cuddly toys to realise this. Sadly when we do this a few things come into play, territoriality and anonymity. Competition too lurks beneath the surface, especially in males.
Now take all those things and pack those people like sardines onto a decaying road infrastructure. Make sure you do it at a time when they're tired. Top it off with the knowledge that your very life is dependant on not only you following the rules, but everyone else doing the same. Then predict what'll happen when someone infringes, or at least appears to infringe, the rules in even the tiniest of ways.
The way things are being dealt with at the moment my prediction is that this is only going to get worse.
Gah a few more stupid ads, these are the ones I forgot to add last time I railed against inconsistent adverts.
Right let's start with a quickie, the Activia ad where they assure us they've
"spoken to real women"as opposed to... fake ones? Now there's a marketing slogan for them
8 out of 10 tranvestities who expressed a preference said they preferred ithmm perhaps not.
Next we've got the Glade "Touch'n Fresh"one. It starts out cheesily enough with a little boy sitting on the toilet
"Phoar it stinks. Quick Quick. Oh it's all gone, oh no!"He can tell that "it's" all gone as the holder has been left conveniently open, no need for this young lad to get up and press the button only to be puzzled by why it's not working. This chap also displays an amazing talent, despite not opening his mouth for the entire dialogue his mother appears outside the door with
"What's happening darling?"note not "Is something happening" she's been psychically tapped by her offspring to appear. Sadly this talent doesn't manifest itself in his descriptive skills
"It's all gone, it's all gone!""well there's another roll next to the sink", oh no sorry the clueless response from the mother was
"What's gone?"Fortunately his lack of verbal skills is compensated by artistic ones as the kid draws a picture of the Glade "Touch'n Fresh" with the word empty next to it. Hold on a second, did the kid take a notepad and pencil into the toilet with him? Was there one already there? How many people keep a notepad next to the loo and why? Now not only does a kid who seems intent on staying seated manage to push the paper under the door (note how he's still seated after his mother comes in to replace the cartridge), but after whining that "it's gone" uses the more difficult word "empty" on the note.
Damn it's worse then when they tried to make out it was some kind of toy.
Another quickie, the New York Bagel ad. All appears fine at first, we watch the bagels being made, we watch someone filling one with lettuce, tomato, etc.; and then put it as is straight into a rucksack. Not even horizontally, oh no got to do it vertically so you can see the hole. You'd be picking bits of coleslaw out of your pack for days.
A quick video appeared this morning on Central News of Derbyshire Fire Services fighting a fire, as you might expect I can't find the video in question and the Central News site is barely up-to-date, the closest I could find to a still of what I saw is something I've edited below
Aargh the Martians are coming, quick get the Jeff Wayne CDs out.
2 comments:
We get the Glade commercial here in New Zealand as well. However, it has been dubbed differently thank the version you have seen. In ours, the kid just says "pee-u" and makes other noises indicating that he is unhappy about something. Then the shot of the mom creeping inquisitively up to the door saying "what's happening darling", then no more dialog, the kid just pushes a paper underneath the door on which he has scribbled "Help! It stinks!". Then on to the part where she replaces the Glade thing and then stands in the bathroom smiling at him while he finishes.
First off, there has been other discussion on the web about how the woman isn't Asian although her kid is. This just isn't true; she doesn't look as "typically Chinese" as some people but she's clearly Asian.
Second, many people find this ad annoying but I think it's hilarious. Something about the way this woman says in a high-class King's English accent "What's happening darling", it's just too funny. My wife and I mimic this line to each other often, like if I'm in another room and stub my toe and say 'ouch' I'll hear, from the other room, "What's happening, darling?" in that sugar sweet tone. It's lots of fun.
You mean you don't get the "It's all gone"'s the advertisers obviously have a higher respect for you then they do us.
On the Asian side of things we don't see her husband, the kid might have inherited his looks and verbal skills.
"What's happening darling" is slightly higher-class, no doubt ordered by someone who pictures us all wearing bowler hats, carrying umbrellas and worrying about Jack the Ripper's next victim in foggy London-town don'tcherknow :-)
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