That was a bit close

Hello to the young drivers of the shiny silver car on Hermitage Way, you might know me as the guy blistering paint with swearing as I approached the bend on Layamon Walk to find you coming round it at me on the wrong side of the road. Obviously your high-performance car was unable to slow down it is thus fortunate my smaller and slower vehicle was able to squeeze to my left and allow you to carry on without having to shave a couple of seconds off your trip by performing this manoeuvre yourselves. I would like to do this personally but I didn't manage to see your licence plate due to the excessive speed you were travelling at.

In the same vein I'd like to extend applause to the drivers of the vehicles in High Street who not only managed to park illegally next to the TSB, not only managed to block off half of the entrance to Parkes Passage, but did so while parking opposite two large delivery vans close to the Swan. Bravo I say, bravo. Honestly it's the bank's fault for putting a cashpoint right there without parking bays; seriously it's as if they expect people to use the bays on the other side of the road and then walk like this was the bloody Stone Age or something.