Bulletstorm PS3 demo

This is the game that according to an 'expert' on Fox News will turn your child into a murdering rapist. So hey sounds like fun.
[Update - there are no full reviews out; allegedly EA have put in an embargo until it ships in the US today (22nd). So that's a good sign isn't it?]


I'm not sure what the story is (if there is one) you're on some planet and you need to make your way from point A to point B through the enemies who seem to want to stomp on your head.

The demo starts up with some piratey type bloke telling you the controls... and the first fail. This is a QTE event level fail - I'm either watching what's happening on screen, or I'm trying to listen to the commentary, or I'm looking at the representation of the controller that's trying to tell me how the on-screen action links up to the buttons. I'm sure the game itself doesn't do this, but as this is the first introduction most people will have prior to buying the game - not good.

'Tutorial' over and it's time to create a load-out - two weapons only with a whip perma-fixed to my left-hand. I get the standard gun (which I don't think you have any choice over) and a flare-type gun and I'm in the game.

It looks pretty good, I've got two companions (who aren't mentioned in the tutorial) whom I can't control or order about and I'm facing a floating giant holographic ghost clock. Once you run through this the game and timer starts. Oh yeah there's a timer (which again doesn't get mentioned) I don't know if there's a limit or not as I never reached one or if it's all to do with the scoring system.

Ah the scoring system, as the tutorial shows (but remember doesn't allow you to try) points are awarded depending on how stylishly you kill someone. Just shoot them and you may get a point, pull them towards you with the whip, then kick them away and then shoot them and you might get 10 points.

At this point a little voice asked why am I doing this? In games such as Manhunt or Split/Second you're pandering to an audience. In this case none-such seems to exist and you're doing this either to show-off or because you're a sadist... or possibly both.

[Update - Apparently there's some military dispenser that hands out weapons like candy if you impress it enough; I'd have stuck with sadist]

Okay enough deep thoughts let's accept it's just about having fun killing your enemies in fun and varied ways; let's have some fun! ... no please let's have some fun; oh not another kick-shot, sheesh another voodoo death; how the hell does that work? This is getting boring now.

The problem to me lies in contradiction. You're supposed to have fun - just charge in there; hell look at the omnipresent timer top centre you're not supposed to dawdle. Yet the points seem only to start stacking up when you slow down and plan ahead.

Take the very first encounter. You turn a corner and face a slope upwards. Halfway up is one enemy behind a barrier and at the top some more behind another. Now you could just flick out a whip and pull them each towards you for a good kicking, but you could also use the whip to pull out the roof to come crashing down on top of them. Kicking about 30 points total; roof about 500. That's assuming that you can a) latch onto the roof and not an enemy and b) that there's someone underneath it. Both of these need careful aiming and timing.

Next to fall is the combos. The neat way to set them up is to use the whip to pull someone towards you. Supposedly you can also do this and bounce them into the sky. I couldn't get this to work and would also have been a little pointless as more than half the level is corridor style.

[Update - I did finally manage to get this to work. The trouble lies in that some enemies you can fling and some you can't. Yet some of the enemies you can fling, you sometimes can't; and some of the enemies you can't fling sometimes you can. Everyone clear on that?]

So I end up pulling them towards me and trying to kick them. The word to spot there is "trying". The game features a "time displacer" that supposed to allow you to run up large combinations by slowing down the movement rate of that particular enemy. Now it's possible that you can shoot them as they're pulled in except the whip does this at such speed you rarely get a chance.

[Update - they do slow down when you pull them towards you but not as much as when you finally manage to hit them]

Likewise at such speed you're having to aim to kick them; while at the same time fending off their buddies. It's only when you manage to hit them does this time displacement kick in; would have been fun to see them flail towards you in slow motion so you can shoot them, then kick them away; then shoot them with a flare as they land amongst another group; but...

At least you can perform some neat tricks with the weapons right? Wrong! Sure it may sound fun to shoot someone with a flare watch them flail around and then pop them in the head with your regular weapon; but the control system isn't set up for that. Switch weapons with Triangle and watch as you do so; it's not instantaneous. See an opportunity where an over powered shot could cause some series damage? Hit R2 and watch as you switch the settings then do nothing other than watch your gun vibrate until you hit the standard R1 button; at which point the opportunity is lost.

[Update - which Yahtzee also points out as a WTF]

As I said either this is a fun low cerebral run and shoot, in which case the controls are wrong; or it's a more thoughtful game in which case what's with the speed and the timer? In either case it just doesn't seem to flow together. This smacks of a five year old's design premise "Let's make a game where you can shoot a bunch of people and you get points if you do it in funny ways" that lost its way.

Needless to say not one I will be purchasing.