North Korea launchs Twinkie hunting satellite

News just in that North Korea have launched their Twinkie hunting satellite ahead of schedule. The official broadcaster had this to say:

As was reported yesterday the first step of our great and glorious Twinkie hunt suffered some technical difficulties that would have prevented the launch. This was a ruse designed by our great and glorious leader to catch the perfidious Westerners off-guard. Who could consider that our technologically supreme country could suffer such? Only the jealous foreigners.

It is therefore with pride that I announce the launch of the world's first satellite. Hand-crafted by our glorious leader with super-advanced sensors to detect the elusive Twinkie.

As all our countrymen know the Twinkie recipe was formulated by our great leader in a moment of introspection as to be the perfect fuel source for a being such as himself that functions at such an elevated level. The formula was stolen by traitors and sold to a foreign company called Hostess, who in a fit of remorse and recognising the genius beyond the creation, regularly shipped crates of the fuel to our glorious leader's modest home.

However in shocking news the company is being shut down due to, as one spokesperson stated,"the pressures placed upon us by our decadent government and the traitorous leaders of the Southern areas of Korea who are jealous of Kim Jong Un's proficiency and genius all in the misguided hopes that this will slow down such a towering intellect".

Instantly our great and glorious leader put his genius to work developing a system that would detect Twinkies using state-of-the-art obesity sensors that would highlight the results of Twinkie abuse by those not blessed with his magnificent constitution. The launch has shown rampant abuse of this fuel source fit for the gods in decadent America indicating stock piles of his most worthy creation and our glorious leader has demanded that the tribute be reinstated.

Until our demands are met citizens are asked to contribute any and all food stuffs to meet our great leader's requirements and soldiers have already rounded up many volunteers who have been placed on a hunger strike until the situation is resolved.

Glory to our Leader.