Friday, January 18, 2008

Go for the parents again.

Yep it's GMTV time and our host David Cameron. It's a complex matter that requires multiple strategies he said. Less paperwork for the police, sorting out problems at school and with parents. Bringing back National Service is not the answer

Bloody hell, that actually makes some kind of sense, who are you and what have you done with the leader of the Conservative Party?

Ah I spoke too soon - Clamp down on under-18s buying alcohol using the laws already in place. Yeah hate to burst your bubble but the deterrent's enough to stop retailers doing this already so the under-18s simply get the over-18s to buy it for them in an indirect transaction, which is a right pain to prove and prosecute. The over-18s can simply cite worry that they'd be beaten up if they didn't do it.

Not National Service, but some sort of boot-camp. Get the kids out of their homes and mixing with others from a different background. Brilliant - away-day youth centres in other words. Here's how that'll work, you'll get two groups appearing - one will join in everything with fun and vague enthusiasm; the other group will tell you to "Sod Off". Now which of these two groups do you think really needs to be at this camp?

So the group tells you to perform anatomically infeasible actions on yourself, what do you do? Deny them dinner - nope can't do that. Haul them out of bed - nope can't do that. Deny them privileges - yep you can do that, but what privileges can you suspend that they won't end up doing anyway and you can't kick them out. Make them do the washing-up you'll just end up with a lot of accidentally broken crockery. If you do try to enforce any of these pointless restrictions they'll just leave and hitch a ride back home, unless you're locking them in - which you can't do.

Don't worry Kate's got the solution asking what you should do if you get a group loitering outside your house drinking you don't go out to tell them off "It's an impossible situation" chimes Ben. "Yeah, but the situation needs something to be done"

She's right - we need someone who can do something about this. We could empower a group of civilians to act on our behalf that we could contact when one of these situations occurred. We could give them powers to be able to move or even detain people. And we could call them um The Enforcers, no wait how about The Police; hmm catchy.